Want to live a longer, healthier, happier life? Adopt a realistic optimistic attitude, study suggests; experts show you how
- Optimism is good for our physical and emotional well-being, and helps us cope with stressful situations
- Experts share tips for staying upbeat in trying times – such as smiling at everyone you meet – to build a more resilient you
Do you consider yourself an optimistic person? If so, you probably enjoy greater physical and emotional well-being, according to new research from the Boston University School of Medicine in the United States.
Stress, as most of us know, has a negative impact on our mental and emotional health; being optimistic may promote a longer, healthier and happier life by helping us handle day-to-day stressors better as we get older.
The first thing to remember is that it’s perfectly OK to feel helpless and hopeless, says Claire Ong, a lead trainer and coach and the co-founder of The Positive Movement in Singapore.
“Our observations and experiences of global events may result in feelings of negativity and hopelessness, but all emotions are valid and serve a function.”
She adds that despite the overwhelming experience of negative emotions during stressful events, it’s possible to experience positive emotions at the same time.
“For example, when a project goes wrong and you’re angry or anxious, a co-occurring emotion may be relief that the mistake was discovered early, or the emotion of curiosity, as you find ways to solve the problem.”
So, instead of brushing the negative emotions aside, you should accept their presence, but also their impermanence, and pay attention to positive emotions as well.
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“This is important because positive emotions help us during times of stress,” Ong explains. “They serve to replenish resources and provide relief from the stressful experience. Positive emotions help to dampen negative emotional reactivity and speed up recovery from stressful events.”
If the negative feelings are intense, pause for a second and approach them with a gentle curiosity, adds Sha-En Yeo, an author and the founder of Happiness Scientists, based in Singapore.
“Ask yourself what those emotions are trying to tell you. And then find a way to express them. If we suppress them, they may fester or we may ruminate over them, which is not good for our emotional health,” Yeo says.
“You could share your feelings with someone you trust, write them in a journal, or engage in some other creative expression. This will help you process your emotions.”
Optimism is not about being happy and positive; it relates to the way we make sense of adversity in life, and feeling hopeful for the future. Yeo says it’s important to discern between realistic optimism and blind optimism.
“Realistic optimism takes into consideration what reality is and chooses to focus on the possibilities. Blind optimism can be dangerous if you ignore what’s really happening and believe that all will be well.”
Optimism can help us be more resilient. In fact, it’s impossible to be resilient without having optimism.
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Victor Perton, chief optimism officer at The Centre for Optimism in Melbourne, Australia, says that optimism can be learned and that we have to choose it to change a pessimistic outlook. The self-professed “radical optimist” adds that he incorporates optimism into his life every day, even when circumstances seem difficult.
Six more ways to nurture your optimistic spirit
The experts offer six other ways to maintain a sense of optimism, from morning onwards.
1. Start the day with a positive intention, Yeo suggests. Before you even get out of bed, instead of reaching for your phone, ask yourself how you want your day to go. Find a word that resonates with you, for instance, “peaceful” or “energising”. This helps you set the tone for the day.
2. “Do deep breathing exercises that teach your body to calm down,” Ong says. “By training yourself to focus on your breath, and to deepen and slow down your breathing, you become more grounded and are better able to face the day ahead.”
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3. Be kind to yourself. Ong says that too many of us have a negativity bias, meaning that we tend to focus more on negative emotions, experiences or information. She suggests being mindful of the type of news you consume and to make it a point to “grow” positive emotions to offset the impact of negative ones.
5. Focus on what you can control. “Sometimes we focus our time, energy and attention on things that are out of our control, and this leaves us feeling drained,” Yeo says. “Instead, ask yourself what you can do at that moment that’s within your control, and get started on it. You’ll feel better as you progress and soon realise that your actions have an impact.”
6. Dream and think about what will be. Perton believes that “some of our most optimistic times come from dreaming about the future”, so make plans that you can look forward to – and don’t be afraid to hope for everything to turn out well.
