‘Don’t have a sister any more’: parents in China hide daughter’s death from sibling for a month, fearing effect on key university exam
- When younger daughter came home and asked about her sister, she was told everything was fine
- Recent survey found that only 43 per cent of people believe bad family news should be told to students studying for important exams
A couple in China who hid the death of their eldest daughter from her younger sister for a month until after she sat her university entrance exam have sparked heated online discussion.
News about the unidentified family from Nanjing in Jiangsu province, eastern China, has shocked many in China, with the story widely discussed on mainland social media.
Last week, when the younger daughter returned home after taking China’s national university entrance exam, known as the gaokao, her parents revealed that her older sister had been killed in a road accident a month before, the news site Su Kan Shi Jie reported.
“I don’t have a sister any more,” she said in shock, according to the news report.
The girl’s mother said her elder daughter died instantly when she was hit by a car.
However, in the month after her death, on the three occasions when her younger sister – who lives at her school’s dormitory – came home and asked about her sister, she was told everything was fine by her mother.
“We told her that her sister had been sent for training at her company’s headquarters in another city and that she would be promoted to a higher position soon. She was glad for her sister, saying, ‘My sister is so excellent!’,” the mother said.
The mother said she chose not to tell her younger daughter the truth, fearing it would affect her gaokao test result.
Mainland social media has been filled with discussion about the story.
The annual gaokao is considered by many in China to be the single most critical factor in determining a young person’s future. This year’s exam was held from June 7 to 9.
More than 12.9 million people sat the test this year, the highest number on record.
A recent online survey on Weibo asked people if they thought parents should hide bad news from students preparing for gaokao.
Of the 106,000 people surveyed, 43 per cent said parents should tell students negative news if it concerns a close relative while 37 per cent said parents should withhold the news until after the test.
While the remainder said parents should let the students know any family-related news.
Many people commenting on the story online disagreed with the Nanjing parents’ decision.
“ This will affect the younger sister for the rest of her life. That’s her sister! Did the parents ever ask themselves if the girl wanted to remain unaware of her sister’s death?” one person remarked.
Another commented: “Although the gaokao test is crucial for a student, he or she can retake it if they fail. But missing the last chance to say goodbye to an important family member will be regretted forever.”
But some people supported the parents, describing their decision as rational.
“The reality is that the sister passed away, and this can not be changed. It was also the elder sister’s wish that her younger sister can take the test smoothly.
“Therefore, the best choice was to hide the news during this period. In a word, at this specific moment, lies won’t hurt people, but the truth will,” one commenter said.
Earlier this month, a video of a doctor in southern China suggesting a father tell his son, who was preparing for the gaokao, that his mother was dying went viral on mainland social media.
