Nepal’s older LGBTQ people feel ‘invisible’ – alienated from society, activist community

Many over 50 had heterosexual marriages to meet social norms. Some who are now trying to lead a more authentic life are rejected by their own children

As Nepal inches towards marriage equality, older LGBTQ people say they face unique struggles, with their needs being overlooked even by activists

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Kanchi Maya Tamang, a 55-year-old transgender woman in Kathmandu, says she often dresses like a man to avoid harassment. Photo: Bibek Bhandari

Published: 2:00pm, 19 Aug 2023

At age 11, Sapana Chaudhary knew she was not like the other boys. By 17, she was being bullied for being effeminate, yet still forced by parents to marry a girl around the same age. Now 55 and a parent-of-three who identifies as a transgender woman, Chaudhary reflects on a life shaped by prejudice.

Identity struggles in Nepal have been amplified by the difficulty of family life, she said, with three children relentlessly urging her not to dress as a woman, while her son and daughter-in-law have asked her to move out.

“My son tore all my women’s clothing and said I bring shame to the family,” said Chaudhary, who now lives alone in eastern Nepal. “But what do I do? This is who I am.”

Chaudhary is one of many LGBTQ Nepalis over the age of 50, some of whom have been married against their will or to meet social norms, struggling to share in the gains made in law and social recognition in recent years.

A member of Nepal’s LGBTQ community takes part in a pride parade in Kathmandu. Photo: Xinhua

A 2022 survey of 100 LGBTQ individuals aged 50 to 75 by Mitini Nepal – a charity promoting lesbian, bisexual, and transgender rights – found that 15 per cent were in heterosexual relationships, with some married due to pressure to hide their sexuality or being forced to by family.

Sixty-five per cent of those surveyed said they lived under emotional and psychological pressure.

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Nepal’s older LGBTQ people feel ‘invisible’ – alienated from society, activist community

Many over 50 had heterosexual marriages to meet social norms. Some who are now trying to lead a more authentic life are rejected by their own children As Nepal inches towards marriage equality, older LGBTQ people say they face unique struggles, with their needs being overlooked even by activists

Many over 50 had heterosexual marriages to meet social norms. Some who are now trying to lead a more authentic life are rejected by their own children

As Nepal inches towards marriage equality, older LGBTQ people say they face unique struggles, with their needs being overlooked even by activists