Talking Points: Who should be the one to pay for a date?

Compiled by Sam Gusway

Hate it when you can't talk back? Well, you can with Young Post. Have your say and share with students around Hong Kong

Compiled by Sam Gusway |

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Sebiha Amjad, 13, Tak Nga Secondary School

Although I'm a Muslim and my religion doesn't allow us to date anyone but our husbands, I would still say: Of course, the man should pay. He asked me to go out with him, which means he should be responsible for whatever we do on our date.

And you know what? If I don't like him, I'll order expensive food and buy lots of things while we're shopping. He'll never dare to ask me out on a date again. On the other hand, if I do like the guy, I will eat food that is way less expensive and buy only a few things. If I'm lucky, we will go see a movie, too. But whatever happens, the guy has to pay. That's the rule.

Christy Cheung, 16, St Paul's Co-Educational College

Although it may seem very un-feminist and sexist of me to say this, as a female, I would like the male to pay. I believe this is not because females aren't able to pay for their own meals, or because I think men have more money. My opinion is just personal: I would like to be pampered on a date, that is all.

However, I guess social rules also play a part, because I have been led to believe males must pay out of common courtesy. That said, if the guy wasn't comfortable with paying, I have no problem with splitting the bill or even paying myself. After all, it's the 21st century, and we should be past traditional ideas about men and women.

Naz Iraj, 17, St Margaret's Girls' College

The male and the female should both pay: It's only fair. So what if the guy offers to pay? Not all men do that because they want to. They're just forced to follow society's rules, and these old ideas about men paying should be gone by now. If a woman is free enough to stand on her own two feet, then she can pay for her own meal.

A few treats here and there from both sides are OK, but completely relying on the other person is just wrong.

Asif Kainaat, 16, HKTA The Yuen Yuen Institute No3 Secondary School

I don't agree with the traditional belief that the guy should pick up the tab. I think that the cost of the first date should be split between the man and the woman. As a girl, I think that if the woman were to pay on the first date, some selfish guy might start thinking that she should pay for everything for the rest of the relationship. In such a case, the woman would be stressed out about money, and that might lead to arguments in the future.

Also, everyone knows the saying "first impressions are the most lasting". How you act and react on the first date will have a lot of impact on how your partner sees you. So to keep things stable for the future, both the guy and the girl should be equal. If both sides start out by doing their share, I have no doubt that the relationship will be tip top.

Regan Lau, 13, Christian Alliance P. C. Lau Memorial International School

Dating can be a fun and exciting way to hang out with your girlfriend, but when it comes to the bill, it's usually the man's job to take out his wallet. That is, unless she wants to chip in and pay her part.

Some people might see girls as being selfish in this situation, but I disagree with that. A man who isn't willing to pay the bill is just being cheap, because it's his job to pay when he goes on a date with a woman. Basically, the girl has the advantage in this case.

In our next Talking Points, we'll discuss:

Should Hong Kong have its own army?

We are now accepting answers from readers for this new topic. To take part, email your answer with your name, age and school, along with a nice, clear selfie (make sure it's not blurry), to [email protected] by Monday lunchtime next week.