You want me to do WHAT?! Check out the worst advice our readers have received

Lucy Christie |

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You’re not a doctor!

When I was nine years old, I had a fever of 39 degrees Celsius. My friend told me that to recover faster I should take a cold shower. I thought it might help, so I did it, but looking back, I realise it was stupid. I ended up getting taken to hospital because it made me even more sick!

Pansy Tsui, 15, Tak Nga Secondary School

99 bottles of ewww!

Once, my friend told me that using beer to wash my hair will make my hair brown. I tried it, but is didn’t give me the nice colour from beer, only the stinky smell of it.

Hazel Chan Hei-yiu, 16, Law Ting Pong Secondary School

... but satisfaction brought him back

As I review my 16 years of life on the planet, I have often received the so-called piece of advice: “Don’t be too curious!” I bet we’ve all heard our parents say this whenever we bombard them with unnecessary questions out of sheer curiosity. But, let’s admit it: human advancement comes out of curiosity. What if Newton hadn’t been curious about this whole gravity theory?

Vidhi Sharma,16, St Margaret’s Girls’ College, Hong Kong

Add some mama-drama

I wanted to move out when I was 16 because my parents always were always pressuring me for academic results. I told my friend about it and emphasised that I wanted to leave home for a while as I could not handle the stress. Then she told me I should get pregnant so I could move out my parents home. It is so ridiculous and the worst piece of advice I’ve ever heard.

Yeung Ching-yu, Tak Nga Secondary School

Siri says silly stuff

I don’t like to ask for advice, but like every girl, I love tips on losing weight. So I asked my computer for the advice – which turned out to be the stupidest and most ridiculous advice ever. It said: “Turn your head to the left, then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time someone offers you food.” I swear I will never search for any answer on the internet again. 

Kaur Bervinder,14, St Antonius Girls’ College

Now she ‘nose’ the truth

I didn’t have a speaker for playing music, but I read a piece of advice online about creating a “human amplifier for free”. It said to insert the earbuds into my nostrils while opening my mouth. As the mouth connects with our nose, this method theoretically works. However, when I did it, I realised that it didn’t play music from my mouth, it just made me look stupid! Afterwards, I noticed that there was a comment under the instructions saying it was a joke. I was so silly!

Marilyn Ma Wing-yin, 19, Chinese University of Hong Kong

It’s mightier than the sword

My writing is poor, so I tried to get some advice from my classmates. I asked them: “How can I write a good article?”
They said: “Use your pen.” Okay.That’s the “best” method I have ever heard.

Ho Wai-chun, 16, Po Leung Kuk Ma Kam Ming Collage

Don’t worry, be happy

The worst piece of advice I have ever been given is to just calm down and not care about anything, and let all my problems work themselves out. Well, that might work on a TV sitcom, but it definitely does not work in real life. What if you have a deadline? What if it doesn’t solve by itself? What if ... oh, what if ..?

Kristy Poon, 10, Beacon Hill School

Pillow talk

One night, when I couldn’t get to sleep, I asked my sister for advice to help me drift off. She had no idea what should I do. Minutes later, after I had finally fallen asleep, she came and woke me up, and said: “Why don’t you take some sleeping pills?” Thanks a lot, Sister.

Ng Chun-ming, 17, Po Leung Kuk Ma Kam Ming College

Chalk it up to silliness

When I was in Form One, I got some chalk on my shirt. I wiped with a tissue but it didn’t quite get it all off. My classmate suggested I clean it off with the blackboard eraser. Of course, it just got even MORE chalk on my shirt!

Ng Cheuk-hei, 16, Po Leung Kuk Ma Kam Ming College

For next week’s Top 10, tell us, what would your zombie apocalypse weapon of choice be and why? Send your answer, together with your name, age and school, to [email protected] with “Top 10: Zombie apocalypse’ in the subject field. Our favourite answers will appear in next week’s Top 10 page!