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1 The scenery is pretty average.
Who would want to look at Eilean Donan Castle in Scotland, anyway?
2 It’s not like any important cultural events ever take place here.
The Edinburgh Military Tattoo takes place every year right outside the castle.
3 I mean, it’s not like Harry Potter was written in Edinburgh or anything.
Actually, it was. In this very cafe.
4 There are just no decent castles left anymore.
Inverary Castle, Scotland. Not spectacularly beautiful or anything.
5 Seriously, how hard is it to find a good castle these days?
Ross Priory, Loch Lomond. FYI, you don't need to be a princess to stay here, it's on Tripadvisor.
6 They have abandoned all the old traditions.
Kilts are normal wedding attire in Scotland.
7 It’s a shame really, as it could have been such a diverse, interesting country with its own musical instruments.
Who wants to learn the bagpipes when you can learn the piano?
8 And forget about magical myths or creatures.
The Loch Ness Monster is real guys.
9 The city centres are ugly, granite blocks.
Glasgow city centre at night. Horrible.
10 And the countryside isn’t much better.
Just the Hogwarts Express. NBD.
11 The wildlife is also really boring.
Highland Cows aren't poisonous, making them very dull.
12 Traffic congestion is a real nightmare, too.
And don't even get us started on the parking problems.
13 And there is nothing good to eat.
Haggis, neeps and tatties, Scotland's traditional dish.
14 Seriously, it can be a struggle to find anything that is unique to Scotland.
Black pudding (pictured), deep-fried Mars Bars, pizza crunches...
15 Breakfast isn’t really a thing.
A Scottish fry up. Or you could just have cereal.
16 They aren’t big on soft drinks, either.
Scotland is the only country in the world where Coca Cola is not the number one selling soft drink; Irn Bru is.
Photo: Twitter @kaho_nagakita
17 The universities are really uninspiring.
The cloisters at the University of Glasgow.
18 I mean, who would want to study in a place that looks like Hogwarts?
Not anyone who attends the University of Glasgow, anyway. All about the academics.
19 So yeah, you definitely don’t want to think about studying in Scotland.
Far better places to go than Portree on the Isle of Skye.
This trip was kindly facilitated by The British Council.