About Leaving: Hong Kong artists use music, pottery, writing to tackle stigma against talking about death

Having known each other since secondary school, the three are the founders of a group called About Leaving, which offers workshops and exhibitions to discuss death through art. They initially came together for a design festival, deTour, organised by PMQ, and the theme they crafted was “Use (ful) less”.

“What came to our minds was items for the deceased,” said Tsang, 24, referring to urns, wills and funeral songs, “which are useless in life but only useful after death”.

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At the festival, Tsang taught people to compose funeral songs, while Wan showed them how to craft urns and Yam guided them in writing farewell letters. The public responded positively, so the trio continued the project.

Even before the festival, the artists witnessed how Hongkongers avoided openly discussing death. As the city faces an ageing population, there is a growing need for end-of-life planning, but people lack the education and resources to navigate this sensitive topic.

“The only course about death I have heard of was when I was in university,” said Yam, 25, who is in her fourth year studying creative writing and film arts at Hong Kong Metropolitan University. “Most people don’t know that death is also a subject that needs to be taught.”

Wan, 25, added: “Besides the serious death and life talks, there is an artistic approach to understanding death.”

Death has been a part of Tsang’s life since primary school when he was diagnosed with a rare disease. Last year, a doctor told him that a tumour in his body had metastasised for the fourth time. It had spread to his cervical spine, which could cause paralysis.

“I know that death is approaching. I am all right now, but I have also prepared for the worst,” said the singer-songwriter, who graduated with a music degree from Chinese University in 2021.

“I am not scared of death or pain, but I would be afraid that the things I left behind are not enough for people to remember me,” he said.

Tsang referred to a song he wrote at the age of 17 after a near-death experience when his condition deteriorated for the third time. “The title of the song is ‘Whirlpool’ as I like how water can transform into different shapes, and I hope I can exist in the world through other ways [after passing].”

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In a world where little is in our control, Tsang wants to encourage people to decide on their funeral songs: “They have the right to choose the last song to play in their life.”

During his workshops, he introduces songs inspired by the theme of death – for example, classical pieces from Beethoven or pop tracks by Eason Chan. He also uses scenes from films and shows to guide participants.

“Funeral music doesn’t need to be serious – it could be upbeat, calm or sad which is up to the person’s preference,” Tsang said. “I picture my funeral would be like a party or a concert without me, and my friends would sing my songs. It would be a happy farewell.”

Yam has also reflected on her experiences with mortality in order to craft her workshops. Recently, her maternal grandmother passed away unexpectedly, and she had to rush to mainland China for the funeral.

“When she had just died at the hospital, her eyes could not close and looked weary ... but when I saw her in the coffin, she looked peaceful even though there was no make-up on,” the author recalled. “When I saw her face, my grief was lessened.”

She thought this might be her grandmother’s way of telling the family that she was resting in peace now.

“At that moment, I realised that one’s death is not the final goodbye,” Yam explained. “The real farewell is when we [the living] have done everything we can for the dead.”

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Although some people believe writing a will is an ominous act, the author explained that the document could act as a final communication to help people bid their final farewells with no regrets.

In her workshops, Yam leads attendees in writing wills though the ones they write are symbolic, not legal documents. To help participants reflect, Yam initiates discussions using books such as Leo Tolstoy’s The Death of Ivan Ilyich, a novella published in 1886 about a man searching for life’s meaning as he lies on his deathbed.

Even though a will is tied to death, Yam believes it can also help people understand the meaning of life. “I feel that a will is personal; it tells the story of a person and also concludes their life,” she explained.

For ceramicist Wan, the idea of teaching people to make urns sprang from her observations of Kwai Chung Crematorium, which is near her studio. The theme of her urn workshop is to challenge the taboo around talking about death, while also introducing basic ceramics skills.

“I just want people to get a taste of what an urn and ceramics art is like, and let them know that they can make a choice for themselves,” said the artist, who graduated from Baptist University in 2020 with a degree in visual arts.

Since the trio launched About Leaving two years ago, they have received positive feedback from the community, and many organisations, such as the Hong Kong Arts Centre, have reached out to them for collaborations.

“Through the workshops, we found out that many Hongkongers are interested in exploring death in art ... They just lack a platform to learn,” said the trio.

Last July, the group wrapped up their first exhibition, titled “Living and Leaving”, which featured a total of six artists discussing the relationship between memory, separation, life and death.

Beyond just hosting art workshops, the artists also have a bigger goal for this year: to host a concert with the theme of death.

“It’s rare to see a concert on this topic,” Tsang and Wan noted. “We also want to connect with local musicians to see if they have thoughts on death that we might work on together.”

“It might not be like a conventional concert – it might be closer to a funeral,” the artists teased.