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Being Chinese

Being Chinese
Being Chinese is an occasional column that contemplates and explores the cultural, existential and related aspects of Chinese experience, whether the writers are Chinese by birth, descent or osmosis.
A child rides a bicycle towards the Hong Kong skyline in 2011. Photo: AFP
Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | In both China and the West, the art of parenting involves letting go

Grandpa, very much in the traditional mould, believed in toughening children up for the world. Mum, raising her only child, was not impressed.

Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | The 30-word identity pitch of an overseas Chinese

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Women and gender

Being Chinese | Why Chinese women like me are done being quiet and ‘appropriate’

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Chinese culture

Being Chinese | A very Chinese funeral and all the things my family didn’t say

The Chinese have dizzyingly precise words for various family members, but families like mine express emotions through stoic suffering.

Ghost money and incense sticks are burnt in front of a gravestone during the Ching Ming Festival at a cemetery in Shanghai in 2017. Photo: AFP
Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | Looking for love in Shanghai, Chinese auntie-style

People’s Square is a ruthlessly efficient analogue of Tinder, run by elderly Chinese parents. I quickly learned about my own limits.

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Food and Drinks

Being Chinese | My food obsession has deep Chinese roots

The rationing era imprinted something on me – not just a craving for food, but a reverence. In Chinese culture, food is never just food.

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China education

Being Chinese | How education in China has evolved, before my very eyes

Amid falling births and policy adjustments, education for one of my children is a more joyous experience than it has been for the other.

Children take part in a bicycle race at the Second Experimental Kindergarten in Yantai High-tech Zone, Shandong province in 2024. Photo: CFOTO / Future Publishing via Getty Images
Chinese culture

Being Chinese | Life and finance lessons from my Hong Kong mahjong parties

I was a hit with my mahjong buddies because I didn’t play like a typical Chinese person. The years since have taught me better.

China society

Being Chinese | Young Chinese are trying out the simple life. Am I missing out?

My generation has never known an economic slump lasting a number of years. Some friends are taking the opportunity to slow down.

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Hong Kong society

Being Chinese | Half a world away from Hong Kong, I had a Chinese epiphany

I thought I understood British culture. No amount of book reading or television watching could have prepared me for a seismic shift.

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A view of All Souls College of the University of Oxford. Photo: Shutterstock
Chinese culture

Being Chinese | I crave a sense of community. Is that my Chinese side talking?

AI chatbots can’t fufill a desire for connection that may have been passed down generations in a culture where community ties are treasured.

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A group of men play cards in an alley in Beijing on July 29. When people live in a hutong, a narrow alleyway lined with siheyuan – courtyard-style residences – a culture of connection is baked in. Photo: AFP
Hong Kong society

Being Chinese | An ‘elegant’ English name would be all wrong for my Hong Kong baby

My daughter, a child of multiple cultures, needs a carefully chosen name in a city where racial difference is not seamlessly accepted.

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China society

Being Chinese | I escaped a Chinese guoxue ‘reading group’. My friend is less lucky

The trend of ‘national studies’ unsettled me. Packaged in Chinese symbols – robes, incense, ancient wisdom – much of it felt too commodified.

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Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | What’s in a Singaporean Chinese name? It’s a long story

In the US, I’ve been assumed to be Taiwanese, mainland Chinese or Korean. It’s like watching people play charades using my business card.

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People stop to take pictures beside a Chinatown mural of martial artist Bruce Lee in San Francisco in 2022. Among the Chinese diaspora in the US, a Singaporean Chinese name can turn into a “Guess where I am from?” quiz. Photo: AP
Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | Dating in the UK, Chinese auntie-style

Looking for a life partner as a 40-something Asian woman in the UK, I found success in unexpected ways.

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Newlyweds pose next to a red telephone booth in London on May 24. Dating today is not always about searching for a spouse, but for a compatible person to share life with. Photo: AFP
Chinese culture

Being Chinese | People laugh in my face when I say I’m Chinese. So what?

I don’t look Chinese. But it’s the tiny things, values and cultural touchpoints that collectively make a Chinese person Chinese.

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China society

Being Chinese | I’m not ‘lying flat’, just choosing a saner lifestyle than China’s 996

In China, work culture is shifting and companies are sending employees home earlier. I chose balance over fatigue before the tide turned.

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Chinese tourists

Being Chinese | Once a Chinese frog in a well, I’m now living my travel dreams

When China opened up and millions went abroad, it influenced everything from fashion and cuisine to values and perspectives.

A Chinese tourist throws wheat while dressed up as a bride for a traditional Serbian wedding experience in Gostoljublje, a village near the Serbian town of Kosjeric, in 2019. The year before the pandemic hit, Chinese tourists topped the world in outbound spending. Photo: AFP
US-China relations

Being Chinese | I’m a Cannes-going Chinese showbiz producer. It’s fun – except when it isn’t

I make deals with international studios and platforms. Often, I face a wall of Western presumption about the Chinese way of doing things.

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Women and gender

Being Chinese | I identify as a Chinese auntie, cheapskate and busybody. Anyone else?

I revel in low prices and awkward questions. I’m finding that being a Chinese auntie overseas also means being part of an Asian sisterhood.

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Singapore

Being Chinese | In Singapore, my children are freer to be happy than I was in China

Having been through China’s pressure-cooker education system, I appreciate how Singapore balances Eastern discipline and Western creativity.

A girl touches a dinosaur model in the Singapore Zoo in 2016. Unlike the high-pressure environment in China, Singapore encourages children to explore their interests yet maintains high standards. Photo: Xinhua
Women and gender

Being Chinese | How far Chinese women have come since my grandmother’s time

I have more equal status than my grandmother did in the pre-communist era. But young women are still pushing back against discrimination.

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Women in period costume record a dance with a phone in Beijing on February 25. Photo: EPA-EFE
Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | I look Chinese but don’t speak the language. Is that so bad?

I may be missing out on a deeper appreciation of the culture, but I’ve learned to live with it – thank goodness for translation apps.

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Chinese culture

Being Chinese | Why don’t we say ‘I love you’ in Chinese? Let me count the reasons

Chinese speakers like me have been trained to understand the difference between ‘aiyah’ and ‘aiyaah’, and things left unsaid among loved ones.

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Chinese culture

Being Chinese | To know who we are, China must remain open to foreigners

Interactions with the outside world have shaped my identity as a Chinese and a human being, opening my eyes to the value of cultural exchange.

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Italian Sara Tentori and her Chinese husband Li Jian select a festive paper cutting at a Spring Festival market in Nanying village in Tianjin on January 19. The couple met when Li was a student in Italy. Photo: Xinhua
Chinese culture

Being Chinese | My Hong Kong crash course in Chinese calculations of everything

Some autumns ago, a midlife crisis brought me to Hong Kong, where it has been inspiring how savvy people are about Chinese cosmology.

A man stops to read an advertisement in Yau Ma Tei in 2021 for a feng shui master’s services for Chinese zodiac signs facing a challenging year. Photo: Xiaomei Chen
Chinese culture

Being Chinese | The beauty of being a filial Chinese daughter

Despite the caregiving challenges, there’s a beauty in accepting filial piety is not a choice but a necessity: roles and responsibilities are clear.

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Chinese culture

Being Chinese | Who’s Singaporean and stressing over Lunar New Year food abroad? Not me

Grappling with being the sole source of Singapore Chinese culture for my children, I have focused on transmitting it through food.

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